1 – Disorganized Behavior. Have you seen a writer’s des—? OH, shiny! Where was I? Oh, right. Tweeting. Oh crap, I should finish that chapter first. When was the last time I ate?
2 – Social Isolation. I recently heard a writer friend refer to herself as a “violent introvert.” Socializing makes me extremely nervous, and if I could isolate myself from the entire world… Put a bunch of writers in a room, and we’ll spend hours discussing how this is our greatest wish. Then we’ll talk about our schizophrenia. Then we’ll run out of things to talk about, smile politely while looking for a way to flee the room for that aforementioned isolation. Go ahead. Tell me I’m wrong.
3 – Hostility. DID YOU JUST ASK ME TO MAKE DINNER?! I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE! I WILL RIP YOUR INSIDES OUT THROUGH YOUR THROAT. GO. AWAY.
4 – Hyperactivity. OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod. I had the best story idea today. OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod.
5 – Nonsense word repetition. Oh look. I just used that…and just…10 times in that paragraph. Maybe I should do a search for my other repeaters, like blinked, and gritted, and furrowed, and…and…and… There has to be another way to describe a turning stomach. I mean, seriously.
Don’t even get me started on the voices. There be all the voices.